If the mass media has cursed the Packers, I will hunt it down

I'll be honest, being a Packers fan this year has been nothing short of awesome. Brett Favre is having one of the best seasons of his career, our defense has played extremely well, and our waiver wire star, Ryan Grant, has given the team some semblance of a running game. But the best part of all was that we could play the Patriots Memorial We Get No Respect Card. Sure, Favre was getting the same media suck off he always gets, but no one ever talked about how good the Packers actually were.

I liked it that way.

Before we beat Detroit on Thanksgiving day, I could hold onto my dream where the unheralded Packers upset the previously undefeated Patriots in the Super Bowl. I proceed to drink nonstop for a week while living the movie Old School, except Ellen Pompeo is replaced by Elizabeth Banks, and nothing bad ever happens to me.

Why hello there, Ms. Banks.

But now, assholes are noticing (because apparently football pundits only watch games that are nationally televised on national holidays). This is no good, because we will inevitably be cursed by all this newfound media glory. Sure, some might call me superstitious just because I have refused to wear a shirt during Packer games since they beat the Vikings 34-0 the first time I went shirtless during the game. My response is this: shut up, superstition works. And if it doesn't work, you find a new one. That's just how it is. I will hear no argument.

Just know, Jeffri Chadiha and the rest of Mass Media, if you and your ilk curse the Packers with your voodoo of "putting them on national television" and "talking about Packers players that are not Brett Favre" I will find you. I will find you, then I will cover you with the finest truffles the world has to offer, and then I will unleash on you those pigs they use to find said truffles. Rembember, Packers loss=mauling by whatever the fuck those pigs are called. It won't be pretty.