Attn: Citizens of Memphis

An advisory has been put into effect for the following areas: Beale Street.

Director of Police Larry A. Godwin has urged all citizens of Memphis who will be celebrating any occasion in the downtown area of Memphis to please consider alternative dessert options. Pies and Ice Cream (potentially Frozen Custard) have been named to the top of the city's replacement advisory list. Citizens should be cautious when handling funnel cake, cup cakes and pound cake. The Department strongly urges all citizens to avoid birthday cake at all cost, and face potential seizure by patrolling officers to prevent disastrous consequences.

Also, Director Godwin would like to make a note of welcoming newly acquired Grizzly Kwame Brown to the great city of Memphis.